D+BATE: Dr. Kawashima, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying About Games I’ll Never Play
“Whenever anyone asks me ‘What sort of games are you into?’, I invariably answer: ‘Well…everything really’. I believe that having an eclectic taste is key to getting the most out of videogaming as a hobby; to limit your play-time to your favourite genres or the genres in which you feel most comfortable can only result in wonderful, challenging and thought-provoking titles passing you by as you plough the same old furrows; feeding your habit but never expanding your palette.
Thumbing through my videogame collection, it would appear that I have been leaning towards more action orientated and more instantly gratifying genres such as FPSs, rhythm action games and racers. While I have also have plenty of oddities propping up these core titles (Zen Pinball has become one of my staples, Gitarooman is an all-time favourite and Noby Noby Boy left me spellbound), more time-consuming experiences such as roleplaying games and real-time strategy titles generally slip under my radar unnoticed. My lack of enthusiasm for the latter is somewhat baffling, as in the past I ploughed many hours into the likes of (the original) Command and Conquer and Lionhead’s Black or White. RPG’s on the other hand, have for the most part avoided my attention altogether.
It is in this latter area that my expansion plans lie. As I type this, Mass Effect 2 is installing onto my Xbox 360’s hardrive, and Final Fantasy XIII is ear marked for (almost!) immediate purchase. I’m also very excited about the prospect of Heavy Rain; even if it fails to deliver on David Cage’s grand claims, it looks to be offering a grand-departure for gaming that will require something of shift in approach, both in the types of experience gaming can offer, and in the actual mechanics of play. Whether it succeeds or fails; sells by the bucket loads or sinks without a trace, it’s the title this year that more than any other has me genuinely looking forward to dipping my toes in more uncharted waters… something that has always been one of the joys of being a videogamer.
As for games I’ll never, ever play, World of Warcraft is top of that list – I have enough bad habits as it is!”
- Simeon Paskell
“Emmet may never have played God Of War, but here’s an admission that will probably see the suits at D+PAD towers marching me out of the door before this sentence is out: I’ve never played Half-Life 2. It’s not through want of trying of course. I had the Xbox version. I still have The Orange Box sitting on my shelf, beckoning. My failure to experience what is by all accounts one of the greatest games of all time is down to a few factors that will probably resonate with every gamer who doesn’t have the luxury to sit with their TV all day. There is of course the onward march of time and that, as Emmet points out, games require a greater investment of those precious seconds and minutes. You could spend a solid three days catching up with, say, the Coen Brothers’ entire filmic output, but how about the works of Miyamoto? Got a spare two months?
Then there’s the fact that there’s always something else to play. Frugality should of course play a part, but using just the first month of 2010 as an example I have Bayonetta, Mass Effect 2 and Wii fighter Tatsunoko still untouched, with even more alluring titles appearing almost every week. I’m quite obsessive about finishing every game I start, and so my aversion to dabbling means that some of these no doubt fantastic experiences will have to wait for a while yet. At least gaming’s rich history has never been more widely available. Virtual Console, Xbox LIVE and digital distribution in general, combined with eBay and a growing trend of ‘remastering’ older classics (Perfect Dark XBLA and, pointedly, the God Of War Collection to give two examples) mean that, should you want to, many of the influences on today’s classics can be played as intended. The problem is not where to find them then, but when to play.
One day I will get around to starting Half-Life 2. Right after I complete Dante’s Inferno for review. Oh, BioShock 2 is out. And my friend just lent me Pikmin 2. So it goes…”
- Zoheir Beig
“I don’t like Rock Band. Shock. Horror. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It’s tedious. Explanation? Oh, go on then.
From the opening bell on the first morning of high school until the day I skulked out six years later, an embittered, grumpy, and eternally hateful bastard of an 18-year-old, I was in a band. I was playing real instruments, writing my own songs, attempting to and probably failing to impress real girls, even learning how to do covers ‘properly’(like anyone gave a shit) with a group of guys and gals who also hated Green Day and knew nine different versions of Knocking on Heaven’s Door. So, forgive me if I struggle to get any real enjoyment out of a repetitive, monotonous tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tapping on a plastic fret-board with chunky coloured keys or from banging rubber pads in time with a never-ending barrage of bright lights, all while a series of songs I’d never, ever, otherwise listen to blare out because I’m not going to pay for a horrible version of Born To Run that someone else is going to butcher, and Jesus Christ if I have to hear Weezer again then I’m seriously going to murder you. “Gee, wow. I sure do feel like I’m the fifth Beatle.” No, no, I don’t. I feel like I’ve got learning difficulties and the nurses think humouring my acute case of schizophrenic-delusion is probably better than telling me I’m a grown man living in a shit-hole town, using a child’s toy to repress the stale stench of reality and my eventual, impending death after an otherwise completely miserable and mundane life because it could, very likely, cause a scene. I don’t like Rock Band.” - Paul Watson
“I must admit that PC gaming has never appealed to me and by extension I’ve never touched an MMORPG at all. This is due in part to inaccessibility. While I’ve always owned a computer capable of fulfilling my needs at the time – such as course work a few years ago or streaming videos today – it’s always been much easier to stick with a magical box of tricks sold at retail. So would I play MMORPG’s should they become commonplace on PS3 or 360? Probably, as even though my tastes have evolved with the games available to me at the time, it’s always good to at least try new things.
As for a game series I never want to play/touch/see again, I’m going with the despicable Bubsy. I’m still suffering the ill effects from playing the 3D version around twelve years ago. Thankfully he’s one bobcat who seems to have stayed dead.”
- Chris Morrell
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