50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
It wasn’t until playing Blood on the Sand that I realised how much of Fiddy’s musical output is obsessed with guns and violence. The game is just as tonally offensive, with regressive pre-modernist stereotypes of jingoistic videogame design being rife in the package, and everyone’s flinging cusses around like they’re going out of fashion. It’s about as sensitive as Prince Philip, and its only concession to politically sensitive middle-eastern issues is that a corrupt white American turns out to be calling all the shots at the end of the day. The primarily middle-eastern setting gives the designers license to try and copy the brown palette from Gears of War, but without the same artistic talent.
There is an unforgivable repetition of objects, textures and animations: by the end of the game you’ve seen the exact same animation for opening shutters so many times you’re left questioning your short-term memory. Screen tearing occurs with regularity and unpolished gameplay elements are present too, such as the integral cover mechanic which isn’t as slick as the one implemented in Gears of War. The co-op partner’s AI is wonky, and the drop-in, drop-out Xbox Live gameplay shoots itself right in the foot by making you go back to the last checkpoint if somebody disconnects. To top it off, it’s too easy, and the timid length of the game is only worsened by the simplistic difficulty level.
Copy and paste design repetition is such an issue that we wouldn’t be surprised if the developers turned out to be goldfish. About a third of the way through the game, for instance, you fight an armoured helicopter. The next level features another armoured helicopter, which you dispatch in the exact same way. The level after that features you manning the turret of an armoured helicopter, and then the following level has an armoured helicopter helping you out of awkward situations.
Other silly issues help sink the game into its turgid functionality. The most jarring is how Fiddy’s co-op sidekick never features in any of the plentiful cutscenes, resulting in events like Fiddy running out of an exploding building without Lloyd Banks (or other G-Unit member) in tow.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is the ultimate vanity project and a prime example of what happens when publishers and businessmen take control of titles. The game has been developed to plough straight down the middle and appeal to the largest possible demographic; it’s a jack of all trades, and master of none. It’s not as bad as his previous game, disastrously melodramatic movie attempt or second album. It is, however, entirely standard.
Pages: 1 2
Have you downloaded the latest issue from GamerZines yet? Check it out here!
Well aren’t we up on our high horse today! Since when is making a less than a superbly incredible game a crime. Since when does a game have to come down on the politically correct side of politics? Oh, it’s violent! Let’s alert the media! There was no game review in this game review. Was the game fun? What about co-op? Multiplayer? Thank God the bad guy turned out to be white or somebody would’ve had a hemorrhage. This was not an honest appraisal of a game but a smear. Shame, shame, shame.
Leave your response!