Far from being the tense and terrifying horror you may hope for, Jericho is one of those games that thinks ‘mature’ means splattering the screen with gore and saying ‘f*ck’ a lot. Horror author Clive Barker is the mind behind the story of Jericho squad, an elite unit of soldiers skilled in military magic. Presumably penned on an empty crisp packet one lazy afternoon, the tale follows the squad on their mission to close a breach to another world or else leave mankind to extinction. How much Barker had to do with the dreadful dialogue is unclear, which features such gems as ‘You just got your ass kicked by a girl’ and ‘Hey Abby, how many lesbian telekinetic snipers does it take to clear a road?’ No, that second one isn’t made up.

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